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Are They Really Your True Friends?| 9 Ways to Spot a True Friend When You See One

True friends. Are they your true friends? 9 Ways to Know

Ever wonder about your friends? Are they really, for real-for real, your friends? I have a small circle of true friends. I am selective about who I allow in that circle. The awesome guys and chicas I call my true friends have some really important qualities in common. How do yours stack up? See below.

They are genuinely happy for you

Some people can’t be. Call it jealousy, envy, insecurity, hate, or mental illness….there are some people who see your successes/growth/failures only as it relates to them and only from their perspective. If you told them about a bowling match you won, they’d think you only won because they weren’t there to compete. If you told them about a new restaurant you love they’d tell you that they’ve never been but the one they like is better. True friends can really be happy for you and are genuinely excited to see you progress and grow.  I feel comfortable sharing my ideas, hopes, dreams, and successes with them.

They help you focus on the positive

I don’t thrive off gossip. Nor do I wallow in negativity. When I find myself sinking, I do all I can to fight my way out. I yearn for positivity, light, and joy. My true friends help bring positivity to my life and I can usually count on them for good, deep down, gut jiggling laughs and good times.

They help bring out your best

Iron sharpens iron I enjoy being around people who challenge me to better and who I can learn from. I appreciate friendships that help to bring the best out of me. Stretching me the be able to obtain my goals and see for myself the reality of my wildest dreams. Blessing me with knowledge and experience that I didn’t have to go out and learn myself.

They aren’t afraid to confront you

It is important to have a friend who you trust to confront you when you are wrong, need to hear the truth, or need guidance. They have to have courage and care enough to do it and not sit back and watch your demise. A true friend will let you know when you’re slacking on you “goal pimpin’ ” and refer you to this post.

They will make sacrifices

A true friend will allow you to be celebrated, take a back seat sometimes, and make sacrifices in your favor. They will sacrifice their time, to listen, their money, if you needed it, their emotions, and experiences in order to help you grow.

They are Consistent

A true friend doesn’t have to call you every day to be there for you. Some friends I don’t even talk to once a month, but I know they would be there if I needed them. More than being constant, which refers more to frequency, I appreciate consistency, which I relate more to quality.

They are Trustworthy

Worthy of trust. You can count on your true friends to be honest and truthful.  They prove time and time again that they have strong character. You can trust their opinion and their intent. A true friend can keep your deepest secrets and will not throw your failures back in your face with the intent to hurt you. They will lift you when you are low. You can rest assured that your personal business won’t be spread around like peanut butter on someone else’s toast….

They are Transparent

No bone collectors over here! As an extension of dealing in honesty and truth, true friends are transparent. They are not hiding in plain sight. One of my friends defines it as “being willing to not just receive information but also share information with the same zeal”. As you divulge your truth, they offer up theirs as well, for connectivity, healing, and greater understanding of each other’s paths and purpose.

They give an Unconditional Love

A true friend will be understanding, forgiving, and love you unconditionally.  Their love has no strings and isn’t contingent upon your performance from week A to week B. Not one of us is perfect, a true friend knows this and has compassion. Loving you at your best and worst.


From chasing my desired career, attending school, and being a working adult to being a caregiver, now a new mom, and daughter who lost hers, I haven’t always been accessible physically or emotionally. I have given what I could where I could and I’m blessed to have friends who still rock with me….They have helped keep me sane and not lose my mane. (Shout out to every kernel of corn in this post..I was on it today lol )

Remember to do your best to be the friend you want to have ❤️

What qualities do you look for or appreciate most in your friends?

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  • doubtpuppet
    May 19, 2017 at 10:03 am

    I don’t know if I ever had a friend who ticked all these boxes. I wish I did though but the people I wanted to be friends with never seemed to want to be friends with me. Which is frustrating. But also, I think you have to be able to reciprocate those same values or else you will drive those people away and maybe that was what happened in my case. I hope not but it’s possible. Anyway, I think fake friends are a waste of time and hold you back. These lessons seem to always get learned too late in life, or maybe that’s just me!

    • TJohnson
      May 19, 2017 at 10:22 am

      I agree! You definitely should be able to reciprocate the same! Be the type of friend you want to have!

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  • ca
    May 26, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    Lovely blog posts you’ve got here. Thank you for liking my post 🙂

  • Jo Seymour
    May 30, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Hi I loved what you shared so spot on. I know how important it is to surround ourselves with the right people it speaks so much about us. So glad we connected via instagram 😃

    • TJohnson
      May 30, 2017 at 9:35 pm

      I’m glad to connect as well, thank you so much for reading!

  • ashleygulley
    June 9, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    I love your blog!!! You’re awesome!! I’ve nominated you for the Mystery Blogger Award! Details and information are here-Check it out: https://ashleygulley.com/2017/06/09/my-1st-blogger-award-mystery-blogger-award/

    • TJohnson
      June 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      Wow ! Thank you so much! That’s very encouraging! Thank you for reading and for the nomination!!

    June 9, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    Beautiful Post & Writing.
    Your insights are simple & profound.

    We found ourselves re-assessing long term relationships on a trip back home.
    Having been away for over a year, & letting people know WELL in advance
    of my brief 4 day stay. Of all my friends, the one who was over 3 hours away
    was the one that made the effort to come down, which was very special. You
    do not need tons of friends, let alone hundreds of “online” friends. A confidant
    is all you really need. It is interesting in this era of constant contact & connection
    how self absorbed many people become, there is a time and a place for everything
    but true friends come along once in a lifetime & should be valued and respected.

    • TJohnson
      June 9, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      Thank you so much for complementing my writing ! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s actually a blessing to know who’s really “for” you, so that you don’t waste time nurturing one sided relationships. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season, yet we hold on to them for years…. I’m glad your true friend showed up for you and made a 3 hour trek.

  • Charlene Bullard - FaithtoRaiseNate.com
    June 13, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    Great post!

    • TJohnson
      June 14, 2017 at 3:44 am

      Thank you so much!

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